Watchingwell   

             Curated classic films

Guilty Pleasures

Movies that are so bad, they’re good

     A few days ago, I was intrigued by a cheesy film title that was appearing on TV that night.  I watched and laughed, imagining what they would be saying on Mystery Science Theater 3000, the cult program where the characters hilariously commented on really bad movies, at the various points of a sad script and careless inconsistencies. This led me to think about other films that I have never before admitted to watching that perhaps other people have viewed in secret. Maybe you’ve never watched them because they sound terrible. Don’t be ashamed!  Nothing makes you aware of the components of professional filmmaking like watching one that seems to lack them.  And sometimes watching a laughably bad film is a fun social activity.  In this season of nominations, these are my selections for the non-excellence awards, but  good for a  laugh and a sense of wonder about how they got produced and released in the first place.  But, hey, the fifties were kind of nutty.

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)  Directed by Nathan Juran

We don't know exactly what, but something happens to the unhappy woman when she encounters an alien in the desert and is carried away by same, that made her grow and grow and take revenge on her cheat of a husband.

Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957)

Directed by Roger Corman.

You guessed it – radiation is to blame for creating gigantic, murderous crabs who want to eat the scientists on the island for their knowledge.

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959) Directed by Bernard L. Kowalski

Another “Attack of…”  Well, they don’t attack unless you are foolish enough to go down to the swamp after several people have disappeared when they went down there.  Not the worst of the bunch, actually, or have I had my standards lowered?

Amazing Colossal Man (1957) Directed by Bert I. Gordon

 This is the man-exposed–to-plutonium-bomb-blast plot, where he grows too fast for his blood supply to his brain and becomes insane and attacks Las Vegas. Is there a message here?

The Wasp Woman (1959) Directed by Roger Corman

Where a cosmetics executive experiments with herself with wasp juice to remain eternally youthful. I know, foolish, right?  Hmm, I wonder if anything came of that. 

Bride of the Monster (1955) Directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr.

If you don’t know Ed Wood, this is his best.  A mad scientist attempts to create a super being with atomic radiation.  The best thing about this is Bela Lugosi, who, while old, is still able to infuse some authenticity to the dialogue.

Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959) Directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr.

Ed Wood’s second best/worst.  Aliens try to stop humans from developing a ‘sun bomb’ by turning dead people into zombies and vampires. Some would argue that it’s not the worst film ever made because although inept on every level, it is strangely entertaining.

Robot Monster (1953) Directed by Phil Tucker.

Picture that's worth a thousand words. Not really my idea of what a robot monster would look like, unless it was all I could find for my backyard production -- when I was seven. Title monster wipes out all but eight of the Earth’s population in a cheapie production that makes Ed Wood look like a genius. That alone makes it worth viewing.

King Dinosaur (1955) Directed by Bert I. Gordon.

Two astronaut couples (cute concept!) are sent to a newly discovered planet that looks a lot like Earth with the same animals and a low budget dinosaur (lizard). When the mean dinosaur threatens them, they obliterate the planet with an atomic bomb. We don’t come in peace.

The Giant Claw (1957) Directed by Fred F. Sears

     Astonishingly ridiculous-looking, alien, big bird attacks Earth while trying to lay eggs.  A script this bad doesn't get created without determined concentration. B-picture actor Jeff Morrow actually worked again after this embarrassment.

Have I missed anyone's best/worst favorite?

I love this still photo from It Conquered the World (1956)  another great one directed by Roger Corman. Yes, and Beverly Garland also worked again after this.